


Late in Time

by Robin Hood (kjack89)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Developing Relationship, Episode Related, Fix-It, M/M, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 01:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12972624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/Robin%20Hood
Summary: They had long since finished prepping for court the next day and moved on to discussing a wide variety of legal and other topics, Carisi feeling relaxed for the first time in days.At least, he was relaxed until Barba asked, “Is everything ok? You seem a little off tonight.”For one wild moment, Carisi considered telling him the truth, that he appeared to be living the same day for the third day in a row, but he dismissed the idea as soon as he had it. Barba would never believe him. And besides, Carisi still held out hope that this was just a fluke, and that tomorrow he’d wake up and everything would be fine.“Just tired,” he said instead, giving Barba a wan version of his normal grin. “Still haven’t recovered from my trip to West Virginia.”Barba snorted. “Ah, yes, interstate travel can besoexhausting.”





	Late in Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thesorceressfromthelake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesorceressfromthelake/gifts).



> For the lovely Sophia — Merry Christmas, my dear!! Hopefully you don't mind that I hijacked your request for a timeloop fic and turned it into something else.
> 
> Set during 19x8, "Intent", as a fix-it in a continued effort to fill me with something other than homicidal rage.
> 
> Much thanks to tobeconspicuous for being my beta!!
> 
> Usual disclaimer. Please be kind and tip your fanfic authors in the form of comments and/or kudos!

Ever since his alarm had gone off at 6am that morning and the host of WNYC’s Morning Edition had said Carisi’s least favorite words in existence — “Good morning, New York, it’s 6am on Tuesday, December 5th. We start our news hour with President Trump…” — Carisi had been in a foul mood.

It hadn’t improved as the day went on.

He was pretty sure he was scowling at his tablet, which perhaps explained the hesitation in Amanda’s voice when she asked, “Hey, are you headed out soon?”

Then again, Amanda had been pretty hesitant with him for a while now, and pretty much all of that was Carisi’s fault.

He blinked up at her and managed a tight smile. “Nah, I got, like, ten thousand more posts of Heather’s to go through,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “What about you? You headed out?”

“Yeah, figured I’d try to get out of here at a reasonable hour,” Amanda told him.

“Got any fun plans?” he asked automatically, already looking back down at his tablet.

Her pause made him look up again. “That’s not really any of your business,” Amanda said, and while her voice was light, Carisi could tell that she was entirely serious.

He winced. “I, uh, I probably deserve that,” he admitted, a little sheepishly.

Amanda smiled slightly at his admission and shrugged. “Besides,” she added, in a conciliatory way, “I don’t have anything fun planned. Just gonna go home and spend some quality time with Jesse.”

“That’s great,” Carisi said, honestly, managing a real smile for the first time all day. “Give her a kiss from me, would ya?”

“Always,” Amanda told him. “And call me if you learn anything new.”

Carisi watched her leave before turning back to his tablet and sighing. At this rate, he wasn’t going to get out of the precinct before midnight.

By pure chance, however, he managed to click on the right link on a Reddit page, and he felt himself smile again as he printed off the posts he discovered, tucking them into a file folder and grabbing his coat. If there was one surefire thing that would turn his mood around, it would be the way that Barba would smile at him when he handed him the piece of evidence that would clinch his case.

Four years in, and Carisi’s stupid, stubborn heart still skipped a beat every time.

Regardless of the fact that the small smile Barba gave him was as far as it ever went, as far as it was ever likely to go. Not the least because of Carisi’s recent fuckups.

Including the entire monumental mistake that was West Virginia.

He put all thought of it from his mind as he pushed the door open at Forlini’s, pausing in the doorway for just a moment before crossing to where Olivia and Barba were mid-conversation, neither looking too happy. But then Barba glanced over at him, and for just a moment, Carisi could’ve sworn that Barba looked excited to see him.

Well, maybe not excited.

Happy might even be taking it too far.

“Hey,” Barba said, definitely sounding surprised to see Carisi there. “What’s going on?”

“Well, right after the Monster and Katie agreed to meet up, Heather texted them both a picture asking if a friend could tag along.” He held up a selfie Heather had clearly sent of herself. “They said no, but does that friend look familiar?”

Barba’s brow furrowed slightly, and Carisi knew his brain was going lightning fast through all the ways he could possibly use it. “Well, it establishes a possible revenge motive, but not mens rea,” he pointed out after a beat.

Carisi kept his expression neutral, knowing from experience that Barba didn’t find smugness or gloating endearing in the slightest. “Yeah, but when you toss these in the pot as well…”

Barba looked down at the proffered file and then back up at him, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly for just a moment, as close to a smile as Carisi knew he was going to get when Barba was working. Barba looked over at Liv, showing her the file. “The human body has a lot of bones,” he said, something like triumph in his voice.

Olivia glanced at the file then back up at Barba, starting to smile as well. “Well, then,” she said, with no small amount of satisfaction. “Looks like you’ve found your story for the jury.” She stood, looking over at Carisi. “Good work Carisi. Rafa — I’ll leave you to it.”

Carisi shifted awkwardly as Olivia left. Barba had already returned to his pad of paper, crossing out whatever notes he had previously written, and Carisi cleared his throat. “I’m just, uh, just gonna—”

“You can stay,” Barba offered without looking up. “I can probably use your help, honestly.” He did glance up then, a half-smirk curving his lips upward. “And you look like you could use a drink.”

Carisi huffed a laugh. “That obvious, huh?” he muttered, scrubbing a hand across his face.

Barba’s expression softened, just slightly, and he patted the barstool that Olivia had recently vacated. “Come on, stay a bit,” he said. “Plumb the putrid depths of Reddit with me.”

“Tempting,” Carisi told him, and the offer really was. Not the Reddit part, but spending time with Barba was always tempting. Not too long ago, in fact, Carisi would’ve jumped at the chance. But after West Virginia, after what happened with Amanda...Carisi wasn’t sure he could trust himself to have a few drinks around Barba.

Not if he wanted to avoid repeating his mistakes.

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’m gonna call it a night,” he told Barba.

He definitely imagined the look of slight disappointment that crossed Barba’s face.

But he couldn’t mistake the disappointment that he felt as he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering what he would’ve done if he had the chance to do it all over again.

* * *

 

Carisi’s alarm blared and he groaned. “Good morning, New York,” the WNYC radio host said cheerfully. “It’s 6am on Tuesday, December 5th. We start our news hour with President Trump—”

Carisi smacked his alarm clock into silence and sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning before what the radio host had said sank in. “December 5th?” he repeated, confused. “That can’t be right.”

He reached over to grab the TV remote off of his nightstand, turning the TV on to verify that he wasn’t losing his mind, and that it was in fact December 6th. Instead, he was greeted by the same news that had played the morning before, and the icon in the corner of the screen told him that it was still December 5th.

Somehow.

Carisi really wished he had taken Barba up on that drink last night, if only so that he had some kind of plausible explanation. Then again, no amount of alcohol explained going back in time and repeating the day he had just lived. Assuming that that was what was going on, anyway.

He didn’t really have a better explanation off the top of his head.

It was probably no surprise that Carisi spent the first half of his day in utter confusion as his entire day from the day before repeated itself. The same conversations, the same actions, right down to the woman outside of the precinct who slipped and Carisi had helped steady.

It was completely and utterly bizarre.

And what was worse, Carisi had no idea what he was supposed to do about it besides go about his day, which he tried to do to the best of his ability, though Fin kept asking him why he looked like he saw a ghost. “What’d they do to you in West Virginia?” he asked with a grin.

Carisi just shrugged and managed a weak laugh in response.

But of course, knowing now exactly what he was looking for in Heather’s online posts, it took his significantly less time to pull together a file with the relevant posts, and Carisi figured that he might as well take them over to Barba at the courthouse, rather than waiting for the bar that night.

He stood and grabbed his coat, and Amanda looked over at him, surprised. “You heading out?” she asked.

“Yeah, I, uh, I got something to show Barba,” Carisi told her.

Amanda nodded. “Good excuse for getting out of here,” she teased. “I'm just hoping I get out of here at a reasonable hour.”

“You got any fun plans?”

The words were out of Carisi’s mouth before he could stop them and he winced, remembering the awkwardness from the first time around and dreading the repeat. “I mean, I know it’s not my business, I just, uh — I mean, you do you, and uh…” He trailed off, flushing at the way Amanda was staring at him, clearly trying not to laugh. “I’ll see you later,” he muttered, making a beeline for the precinct exit.

He managed to gather himself together by the time he got to the courthouse, even if he still had no rational explanation for what was going on. He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost ran into Barba as the man exited the courtroom. “Detective,” Barba said, with the same tone of surprise from the night before. “What’s going on?”

Carisi didn’t waste any time, handing over the file and running through what he found in a clipped tone, not playing his usual game of waiting for Barba’s approval when he gave him the crucial final piece of evidence.

But Barba still smiled at him when he glanced through the file. “This is great,” Barba said. “Exactly what I needed to show that Heather does, in fact, have a malicious bone in her body.”

Carisi blinked, and barked a short laugh. “Oh, _that’s_ what you were referring to when you said the human body had a lot of bones,” he said without thinking, only realizing what he had said when Barba stared at him, his brow furrowed in confusion. “I mean, uh…”

No reasonable explanation came to mind, but luckily, Barba didn’t seem to want one, just shrugging and looking back at the file. “Anyway, I’m going to take this back to my office and then probably get myself a drink,” he said. “You should join me. Consider it a reward for your hard work.”

“Wasn’t that hard,” Carisi muttered, feeling out of sorts for no real reason. Well, other than the main reason of repeating his entire day. “I, uh, I appreciate the offer, but I’m gonna try to get a good night’s sleep. I think I need it.”

His hope was that if he did in fact get a good night’s sleep, he might wake up the next day and everything would be back to normal.

And that thought was almost worth the disappointment he again thought he saw flash across Barba’s face, though Barba rolled his eyes too quickly afterward for Carisi to tell if he had seen it or not. “Yes, get your beauty sleep, Detective,” Barba sniped. “Lord knows you need it.”

Carisi scoffed good-naturedly, but took that as his cue to leave regardless, collapsing into his bed not even 45 minutes later and hopeful that when he next opened his eyes, it would be December 6th.

* * *

 

It wasn’t.

“Good morning New York, it’s 6am on Tuesday, December 5th—”

Carisi’s groan drowned out the rest of what the news host was saying.

He sat in bed and glared at his alarm clock for a long moment before huffing a sigh. “Ok, think,” he said out loud to himself, his tone bracing. “I’m stuck in December 5th, so that must mean there’s something I have to do today that’ll get me out, right?”

Carisi was as big of a science fiction nerd as anyone, and he was pretty sure he had seen a movie about this where that had been the solution for the character in that movie.

And at the moment, it was the only thing he had to go on.

He spent his entire day over-analyzing every interaction, looking for whatever it was that he might have missed from his two previous attempts at this day, so much so that he was almost late printing out Heather’s posts and making it to the bar. “Hey,” Barba said, “what’s going on?” He paused, raising an eyebrow. “Why do you look like you just ran here?”

Carisi ignored that, instead rushing through the evidence in near record time. Olivia looked mildly amused the entire time, but Barba still gave him that small half-smile when he handed over the critical Reddit posts.

This time, when Olivia left, Carisi didn’t wait for Barba to invite him to sit, instead practically collapsing onto the stool. Barba glanced over at him. “Please, make yourself at home,” he snarked.

Carisi rolled his eyes. “Like you weren’t gonna ask me to join you,” he scoffed, before realizing that Barba might not have known that he was going to.

Luckily, Barba just laughed lightly, though unless Carisi was mistaken, he also blushed, just a little. “Apparently I’m getting predictable in my old age,” he said. “But if you’re going to stay, you’re going to help. Now, what are you drinking?”

Working with Barba was always easy, both of them falling back into familiar patterns of snark as one beer (for Carisi) and one glass of scotch (for Barba) turned into two, and then three. They had long since finished prepping for court the next day and moved on to discussing a wide variety of legal and other topics, Carisi feeling relaxed for the first time in days.

At least, he was relaxed until Barba asked, “Is everything ok? You seem a little off tonight.”

For one wild moment, Carisi considered telling him the truth, that he appeared to be living the same day for the third day in a row, but he dismissed the idea as soon as he had it. Barba would never believe him. And besides, Carisi still held out hope that this was just a fluke, and that tomorrow he’d wake up and everything would be fine.

“Just tired,” he said instead, giving Barba a wan version of his normal grin. “Still haven’t recovered from my trip to West Virginia.”

Barba snorted. “Ah, yes, interstate travel can be _so_ exhausting.”

Still, he didn’t seem inclined to push it, and Carisi took a deep breath and drained his beer. “Well, I should probably head home,” he said.

Barba glanced down at his watch and sighed. “As should I,” he said. “Court tomorrow. And thanks to you, it looks like it’ll be a slam dunk.”

Carisi just laughed lightly as Barba packed up his stuff in his briefcase and shrugged his coat on. “Well, you know, I always want to make you look good, Counselor,” he said. “I mean, if I don’t, who’s gonna?”

Barba rolled his eyes. “Who indeed,” he said sarcastically, holding the bar door open for Carisi. “Certainly I have to place my trust in someone who used to have a porn stache.”

“Hey now, there’s no need to bring the stache into it!” Carisi protested, but he was laughing, and Barba was looking up at him was a soft sort of smile on his face. “I mean, clearly you've thought about it enough that you secretly want me to bring it back.”

“If you do, the only one you’ll be hurting is yourself,” Barba said, a little smugly. “After all, I can only imagine the effect on your sex life.”

Carisi tilted his head slightly, pretending to consider it. “I dunno, I think I scored just about as often with the stache as without.”

“Is that so?” Barba asked, his voice low, and for the first time, Carisi realized how close they were standing, too close to be casual, to be two coworkers just out getting a thoroughly professional drink, and he swallowed as he looked down at Barba, who still had that same soft smile on his face.

Carisi knew how easy it would be to close the space between them, to just lean in and kiss him, but the image of Amanda turning away in West Virginia seemed imprinted on his mind, so instead, he laughed and took a step back. “Yeah,” he said, glancing down at his watch. “Yeah it is. Anyway, I’ll, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Get home safely,” Barba called at his retreating back, but Carisi didn’t turn around.

He didn’t want the reminder that he was walking away from something he’d wanted for four years.

* * *

 

“Good morning New York, it’s 6am on Tuesday, December 5th, and—”

“Shut _up_ ,” Carisi groaned into his pillow, smacking his alarm clock into silence.

He was _really_ beginning to hate December 5th.

He spent the entire day going through the motions, barely looking up when Amanda left that evening, only acknowledging her question about whether he was heading out soon with a grunt.

His mood was so sour by the time he got to the bar that he was half-tempted to just chuck the file at Barba’s head and go home.

It wasn’t like it mattered.

He’d have to do it all over the next day regardless.

But then Barba looked up at him, and smiled, just slightly, and Carisi felt warmed from the inside out, and couldn’t help but smile back, his sour mood temporarily abated.

And all because Barba had smiled at him.

As he sat down after Barba told him to stay, Carisi had the sudden thought that maybe this was it. Maybe this was the reason why he kept repeating this day, because God or nature or whomever was tired of watching him try to run from or deny this thing with Barba. Maybe four years had been long enough. Maybe this was what he was supposed to be doing all along.

So this time, when Barba stood just a little too close to him outside the bar and made a bad joke about Carisi’s former mustache, this time, Carisi didn’t turn away.

Instead, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Barba’s.

For one brief moment, Barba was still, and Carisi had the horrible thought that he’d misread everything. It certainly wouldn’t be the only time he had recently.

But then Barba balled his hand in Carisi’s coat and tugged him closer, his mouth opening against his, and Carisi relaxed again, reaching up to cup Barba’s cheek with one hand, eagerly matched every move Barba made, eager as always for every sign of approval from the other man.

It was a kiss four years in the making.

And it was perfect.

Carisi didn’t want the moment to ever end, but all too soon it did. Still, neither man moved particularly far from the other, and though Carisi was certain he was smiling like a goofball, Barba was grinning as well. “I think your odds are better without the stache,” Barba told him.

Carisi just laughed. “I think you’re probably right,” he said. “So since I am still without a mustache for the moment, can I take you out for dinner when this case wraps up?”

“I suppose I’m due for some torture,” Barba mused, though he softened the joke with another kiss, a fleeting peck pressed against the upturned corner of Carisi’s mouth. “Get some sleep, Detective. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Carisi practically had to stop himself from skipping on his way home, and for the first time in four days, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

 

He didn’t wake up with a smile.

“Good morning New York, it’s 6am on Tuesday, December 5th—”

“I hope they cut funding for New York public radio,” Carisi grumbled mutinously as he sat up and drew a hand across his face.

Obviously kissing Barba hadn’t been the answer to his timeloop dilemma.

Then again, as Carisi couldn’t quite stop the involuntary smile that spread across his face, even if it wasn’t the answer to this, if the opportunity to kiss Barba presented itself again, Carisi sure as shit was gonna take it.

Even if he was still trapped in this hell, it was still the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Of course, it was also just one more thing that weighed on his mind the entire day as he tried for the umpteenth time to figure out what exactly he hadn’t done or had done that needed to be fixed and repeatedly came up blank.

By the time he got to the bar that night, he was really scraping the bottom of the barrel for reasons, and had the sudden fear that maybe the opposite of what he had thought last night was the truth. Maybe this whole thing was because he wasn’t really supposed to be pursuing anything with coworkers, or something stupid like that.

It was a dumb thought.

It was also all he had to go on.

So when Barba leaned in to kiss him outside the bar, Carisi stopped him. “I’m sorry,” he said, panicked, as Barba frowned at him, his expression guarded. “I, uh, I definitely want to kiss you, really I do. But, uh, there was this thing in West Virginia—”

“In West Virginia,” Barba repeated dubiously. “And it affects what you and I are doing here.”

He said it flatly and Carisi blushed slightly. “I dunno if it does or doesn’t, but the thing is, when I was in West Virginia, I, well, I acted like an idiot. And—”

He cut himself off, a slow grin starting to stretch across his face. “And you’re not the person I actually need to be telling this to.”

Barba looked baffled, but also slightly amused. “Are you going to explain yourself at any point this decade, Detective?” he asked.

“Yes,” Carisi told him, and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “But first I have something I gotta go take care of. Can I take you out for dinner tomorrow? If I’m right, there may actually be a tomorrow.”

If Barba was baffled before, now he looked downright bewildered, but he made no attempt to stop Carisi from leaving, just raised a hand to touch his cheek lightly where Carisi had kissed him. “O...k…?”

Carisi didn’t wait to hear more, flagging down the first cab he saw and giving the driver Amanda’s address.

He didn’t know why this hadn’t occurred to him before.

Ok, that wasn’t true.

He knew exactly why this hadn’t occurred to him before.

Denial wasn’t just a river in Egypt.

When he got to Amanda’s apartment, he took the stairs leading up to the building two at a time and pressed the buzzer. After a moment, Amanda answered, caution clear in her tone. “Who is it?”

“It’s Sonny.”

Amanda was quiet for a moment. “Sonny, it’s late,” she said finally. “And I’m pretty tired, so—”

“I know,” Carisi said quickly. “I’m not asking to come up, I’m not — I’m not asking for anything from you except for you to listen.”

“What is it?” Amanda asked wearily.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Carisi told her, sincerity plain in his voice. “I could give you an excuse for why I acted like I did after what happened — or what didn’t happen — in West Virginia, but it doesn’t really matter why. I acted like a dick, and you don’t deserve that. And I’m sorry.”

Amanda was again quiet for a long moment, but this time when she spoke, she sounded almost relieved. “And you really took a cab all the way across the city to tell me that?” she asked. “What, your phone was broken?”

Carisi laughed lightly. “Well, I figured you might be more receptive to me saying it in person. And I figured it was better said now than later.”

Amanda laughed as well. “Well, apology accepted. Just don’t act like that again, got it?”

“I won’t,” Carisi promised. “You’re my best friend, Amanda. And I’m sorry if I made you doubt that.”

“Go home and get some sleep,” Amanda told him gently. “You can make up for it by babysitting this weekend.”

Carisi laughed. “Deal,” he said easily. “G’night Amanda.”

He all but skipped down the stairs, and he grinned the entire way home. For the first time in days, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest.

For the second night in a row, Carisi fell asleep grinning.

* * *

 

“Good morning New York. This is Kerry Nolan, in for Richard Hake. It’s 6am on Wednesday, December 6th, and our top story this news hour is—”

Carisi turned off his alarm clock, practically beaming. December 6th. Who’d’ve thought December 6th could be so beautiful?

His grin only widened when he grabbed his phone and read the text message waiting for him from Barba: _You owe me coffee and an explanation._

 _Coffee I can do,_ Carisi sent back. _Not sure you’d buy my explanation._

Hell, Carisi wasn’t sure he bought his own explanation.

He’d have to come up with something even marginally more realistic than ‘I was stuck in a timeloop that only ended when I finally apologized to my best friend for being a jackass’.

Well, Barba would probably believe the jackass part.

 _I’ll suspend my disbelief,_ Barba returned. _See you soon._

Carisi leaned back against his pillow, still grinning.

Today was a new day.

And Sonny Carisi was ready for it.


End file.
